I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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