It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
