Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
