so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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