from now on my penis is your penis
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
