The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
