i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
