Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
