I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
