who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
