Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
