I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
