Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
