We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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