wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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