This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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