the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize