Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
