That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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