Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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