at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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