I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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