I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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