were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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