Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
