Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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