Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
