I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
