you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
