The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just pynch a tree in the face
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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