Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
PANTIES FOUND
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
