Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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