either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
