at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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