I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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