I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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