Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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