normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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