it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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