Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
