Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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