Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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