is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
