Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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