I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
