We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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