She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
