Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
