can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
