I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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