A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
