Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
