i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
