so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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