bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
