I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
