just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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