i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
