I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize