if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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