true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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