So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
