take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
