My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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