Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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