Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
