Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
