About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
