Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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