is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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