Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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