I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
